The Ocean is my Cradle

(One of my favourite photos, of my hero Rell Sunn).

I am excited for my trip. I'm going alone and have limited funds but I think this is a good thing. I am not much of a "tourist" of places (even though I'm staying in a touristy area), I would rather just immerse myself in nature and do what I normally would do anywhere. I love the Hawaiian attitude, and wish I could live there. If I was American, I would. I still think I will live there one day.

In O'ahu, where I am going on Feb. 1st (for 6 days), I plan a few things, which will cost me little but give me much.

Mostly I want to see people surf Pipeline. I have wanted to see this wave in person for many years. I would LOVE to see a contest there, but then I would be sharing the beach with thousands of people. Still...it would be stellar to see all the professionals. However, I let that idea go, as I think seeing people just surf it for the joy of it will be more amazing. That wave is brutal. It chills me! Same with Teahupoo in Tahiti - earth-shattering. I wish to see that in person one day, too. I will never have the balls to go into it. I know I would die.

And of course I want to surf in Hawaii, myself. To do it with no wetsuit will be the thrill of my life. I am so used to millimeters of rubber and very cold Canadian water. Even in Australia I had to wear a wetsuit - though it was thinner. I've surfed once with no wetsuit, for 5-10 minutes in the summer in Tofino. It was damn cold. But worth it. A different experience all together.

My first time catching a wave was in Brazil when I was 15. It was on a boogie board. A friend of my dad's girlfriend pushed me into it. It was thrilling. My bikini bottoms were dragged off by the pull of the ocean and I had to stop myself. What a bummer.

Also in Hawaii I plan to eat a LOT of fruit. There are so many I have never tried, and a lot I have never tried FRESH. I really hope there is fresh durian when I am there. I have yet to try jackfruit, and I really want black sapote, the chocolate fruit. I will live off papaya and pineapple and coconuts. Fruitarian for a week I am sure.

I want to hike Diamond Head, go to Manoa falls, go snorkeling and swimming constantly, and there is a carnival on the 6th that I will attend with a friend who lives in O'ahu who I used to work with in Vancouver. It's nice to know someone there.

I'm staying in a cheap hotel. I wish I could have stayed on the North Shore but there is not a lot of options except an expensive resort and a hostel. I need my space because I am a light sleeper. There is a bus that goes around the whole island for $2 apparently. Yay!

I may also go for a horseback ride and get a tattoo. We'll see how far I can make my money go in such a pricey place.

I hope I see sea turtles. And I hope sharks keep their distance. I LOVE sharks, and I respect them. I swam with whale sharks in Australia, and was quite near reef sharks as well. Stunning creatures. I would love to cage dive with white sharks.

I think you attract what you fear. I will feel safe in Hawaiian waters. The ocean is like my cradle. I belong in it.

It will be a challenge to not get much of a tan - I look weird with one.

Cacao Crazy + Goal Focusing

So I am very focused and crazy and euphoric right now. Cacao does this to me. I love it. Oh I love it.

I FINALLY FINALLY have some focus. I have so many interests, it's quite ridiculous, and I never know what to focus on because I keep finding NEW interests and the old ones kind of get pushed aside.

SO...I was writing in my hardcopy journal tonight and a lot spilled out. Here are my main focuses for the rest of my life.

1. SURFING
2. Art and photography
3. WRITING
4. Travel
5. Raw food
6. MUSIC
7. Hooping, and performace

Yep. That's it. Surfing is #1. I have to start getting in shape again and making monthly trips to the island. I really do.

Surfing Dreams

(Me going surfing for the first time in 2001 - cold Canadian waters).

This year I am:

1. Going to Hawaii. Gonna surf Waikiki and watch the big wave surfing. I can't wait to see Pipeline in person. If I can't surf it, at least I can watch it. And surfing in WARM WATER (!#*%!*@) - OH BLISS. No wetsuit.

2. Gonna BUY a surfboard again. Red longboard. It's decided. Or maybe green.

3. Visit Tofino. I miss it. It always calls to me "come back come back."



I used to do this all the time.

4. Buy a dehydrator. My Vita-mix and Hurom juicer can wait, though I will get them eventually.

5. Do the zombie walk again.

6. Try and go surfing as much as I can. I need my gear. Selling my gear is my only real regret.

If I had ONE WISH it would either be: go back in time and learn to surf as a child and run away to the sea. OR...to just have mad surfing skills. Now. But I think I'd rather go back in time and have a whole lifetime of surfing.

Yes, I know I don't look like a surfer. Hehe. It's been 5 years since I have been surfing. This needs to change. NOW. I have been obsessed with surfing since I was 13. Ever since I saw Point Break. I wish I had known surfing was an option in Canada, and that it wasn't even that far away from where I was. If only, if only. I dream of waves. When I die I want my ashes scattered at Pipeline, so I can be able to surf it one day.

My heart aches when I see that wave. Years ago when I saw it on tv for the first time, I burst into tears. Because of the sounds it made. It clutched my whole soul in it's tight little barrel fist.

LOOK AT IT.



Wow.



This is where I used to live and work. Sigh. That's my shiny butt.

Okay, this is an offical new resolution. A big one. GET BACK INTO SURFING.

And as a final note, this is the craziest, most amazing wave I've ever seen. That anyone has ever seen.

Resolving

Hello!



Image by Cheryl_01134

I must keep posting, hopefully daily or every other day. Perhaps I should resolve to do this...or at least have it be a goal (I have 2 blogs and a hard copy journal, too).

I look at resolutions differently now, mainly because I used to write huge lists of them and never keep them. I might eventually succeed at one or two, but there was never any specific focus.

So when a new year comes, I want to guide you in a new direction, because it's been working for me really well. Do not confuse resolutions with goals.

It's quite simple. Here's the steps to making your ONE AND ONLY resolution.

1. Look back upon the last year (in particular) - or even the last few years, or your whole life. What is the MAIN PROBLEM you've had in that time? This should be plainly obvious and the answer should come quickly. You may have a couple of things, but focus on the MAIN thing. That is the thing to resolve.

Usually when you resolve your main problem, a lot of your other problems may disappear because of it.

2. Write down some things you can do to solve this problem, and focus on those things. DO those things. Don't just think about them. And because you only have this one focus, you are much more likely to succeed. If you have more issues to work on, wait until you resolve your first one before focusing on those.

3. It's key to focus on what you DO want, not what you don't want. Make a vision board if it's helpful (it is).

The most helpful thing for me has been to do the exact opposite of what I normally do, especially if it's been a long-time issue. History repeats itself, yes? Almost always, and there is that well-known Einstein quote: Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.



Now I'll relate it to my own life just for fun and so you can see that this approach works.

In 2007, before I even made the conscious decision to focus like this, my huge issue was depression. I made my primary focus in life to cure myself of depression, though it was not a new years' thing - it was just necessary. But I was very focused and found my answers quickly because I was so focused. You NEED that focus if you really want to change things.

In 2008, my huge issue was relationships, and being what I considered a "doormat" - this is when I started to consciously make one resolution for an upcoming year. I reflected, and knew I couldn't go through another heartbreak like I had. So, "Don't be a doormat" was my focus...though now that I look at it, I worded it badly - it still worked, though. When I felt like I wasn't getting what I wanted from a relationship (friend or otherwise) I wouldn't keep allowing it, or chasing it. I let it go and moved on. This took so much stress off of myself, and now if I'm mistreated (rare) I speak up.

I knew what I wanted from a relationship, too. I was in a situation with someone early in the year, which - while fun - was devoid of passion or affection outside of sex. It was just friendship with a bonus. After a while it was hella boring for me. So when I realized this, I just stopped seeing him. It was nothing to DO with him, it just wasn't what I wanted, and we're still friends.

A few months later I had the relationship I wanted, which was the first time in 8 years that I had. Interesting stuff.

Me and my sweetie:



I wanted a relationship based on something real and tangible, affection instead of just purely sex, someone honest, considerate, sweet, cute, loyal, and LOCAL.

(Previous ways of thinking included "Why do guys only want me just for sex?" - since I always had this mindset, it's exactly what I got. Changed that to 'I want a relationship based on respect, love, friendship, and affection.' "Why do I always end up with musicians who don't live here?! Why do guys never want me for a GIRLFRIEND? I'm never good enough!" You get the point.)



THIS YEAR I looked back and realized that anyone who accomplishes a lot doesn't waste all their time on the internet reading blogs, going on Facebook 20 times a day, etc. I have SO MANY goals, which is obvious every year when I write them all down! So, since in 2009 I wasted a lot of time on unimportant, useless things (as I have for a long time, especially since discovering the internet in 1997), my focus is BE PRODUCTIVE. So I can accomplish the non-stop onslaught of goals that I have. That keep on coming. I do have specific ones to focus on, of course.

My secondary one, which I just came up with today is to IMMERSE MYSELF IN BEAUTY. Not really a resolution, but a very lovely thing to focus on. And simple :)

edit: Okay I also resolve to read the books I own instead of buying and signing out more from the library. It's a minor one, too - hehe.


And with that, I am signing off.

Do you have any productivity tips? I like simple, to-the-point things. Nothing complex. Something I've recently found that is pretty awesome is TeuxDeux - VERY simple, and incredibly helpful!

What are your resolutions?