Wednesday, January 6, 2010



Image by Cheryl_01134

I must keep posting, hopefully daily or every other day. Perhaps I should resolve to do this...or at least have it be a goal (I have 2 blogs and a hard copy journal, too).

I look at resolutions differently now, mainly because I used to write huge lists of them and never keep them. I might eventually succeed at one or two, but there was never any specific focus.

So when a new year comes, I want to guide you in a new direction, because it's been working for me really well. Do not confuse resolutions with goals.

It's quite simple. Here's the steps to making your ONE AND ONLY resolution.

1. Look back upon the last year (in particular) - or even the last few years, or your whole life. What is the MAIN PROBLEM you've had in that time? This should be plainly obvious and the answer should come quickly. You may have a couple of things, but focus on the MAIN thing. That is the thing to resolve.

Usually when you resolve your main problem, a lot of your other problems may disappear because of it.

2. Write down some things you can do to solve this problem, and focus on those things. DO those things. Don't just think about them. And because you only have this one focus, you are much more likely to succeed. If you have more issues to work on, wait until you resolve your first one before focusing on those.

3. It's key to focus on what you DO want, not what you don't want. Make a vision board if it's helpful (it is).

The most helpful thing for me has been to do the exact opposite of what I normally do, especially if it's been a long-time issue. History repeats itself, yes? Almost always, and there is that well-known Einstein quote: Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Now I'll relate it to my own life just for fun and so you can see that this approach works.

In 2007, before I even made the conscious decision to focus like this, my huge issue was depression. I made my primary focus in life to cure myself of depression, though it was not a new years' thing - it was just necessary. But I was very focused and found my answers quickly because I was so focused. You NEED that focus if you really want to change things.

In 2008, my huge issue was relationships, and being what I considered a "doormat" - this is when I started to consciously make one resolution for an upcoming year. I reflected, and knew I couldn't go through another heartbreak like I had. So, "Don't be a doormat" was my focus...though now that I look at it, I worded it badly - it still worked, though. When I felt like I wasn't getting what I wanted from a relationship (friend or otherwise) I wouldn't keep allowing it, or chasing it. I let it go and moved on. This took so much stress off of myself, and now if I'm mistreated (rare) I speak up.

I knew what I wanted from a relationship, too. I was in a situation with someone early in the year, which - while fun - was devoid of passion or affection outside of sex. It was just friendship with a bonus. After a while it was hella boring for me. So when I realized this, I just stopped seeing him. It was nothing to DO with him, it just wasn't what I wanted, and we're still friends.

A few months later I had the relationship I wanted, which was the first time in 8 years that I had. Interesting stuff.

Me and my sweetie:

I wanted a relationship based on something real and tangible, affection instead of just purely sex, someone honest, considerate, sweet, cute, loyal, and LOCAL.

(Previous ways of thinking included "Why do guys only want me just for sex?" - since I always had this mindset, it's exactly what I got. Changed that to 'I want a relationship based on respect, love, friendship, and affection.' "Why do I always end up with musicians who don't live here?! Why do guys never want me for a GIRLFRIEND? I'm never good enough!" You get the point.)

THIS YEAR I looked back and realized that anyone who accomplishes a lot doesn't waste all their time on the internet reading blogs, going on Facebook 20 times a day, etc. I have SO MANY goals, which is obvious every year when I write them all down! So, since in 2009 I wasted a lot of time on unimportant, useless things (as I have for a long time, especially since discovering the internet in 1997), my focus is BE PRODUCTIVE. So I can accomplish the non-stop onslaught of goals that I have. That keep on coming. I do have specific ones to focus on, of course.

My secondary one, which I just came up with today is to IMMERSE MYSELF IN BEAUTY. Not really a resolution, but a very lovely thing to focus on. And simple :)

edit: Okay I also resolve to read the books I own instead of buying and signing out more from the library. It's a minor one, too - hehe.

And with that, I am signing off.

Do you have any productivity tips? I like simple, to-the-point things. Nothing complex. Something I've recently found that is pretty awesome is TeuxDeux - VERY simple, and incredibly helpful!

What are your resolutions?

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