Plan Z!

This is inspired by this blog post.

I like this post because it's realistic - sort of. And it's actually fun to think about - not long ago I was fantasizing about the perks of being homeless.

So here it goes - my Plan Z.

This would involve me not being able to pay my rent, having to sell everything I have, give my dog to my parents to look after, and not be able to afford my lovely organic foods, fancy cacao things, or Gorilla Food. I would be either stuck squatting, sleeping on friends' couches, or living in a place much less expensive and most likely much further away from downtown. I would certainly not have a car, or a Blackberry. I'd have a pay-as-you-go phone, check email at the library, and ride the bus for free as much as possible (which I already do). Everything I'd own would fit in my backpack (I'd try and get a Magic Bullet for smoothies, at least!).

I would be fired from the bookstore, and possibly take up panhandling - but not the typical kind - I'd be a busker. I'd do some hoopdance in the summer, and maybe some comics in the winter. But! In the winter, if I had no job and no rent and no dog - I'd just go south. I have a passport. I could save up my busking money for a Greyhound ticket or a cheap one-way flight to California for a while, or even Hawaii. If I had to sell my car, I could certainly afford it. Hell, I could save a lot of money without paying rent. Having no ties would free me up to travel and read gobs of library books and hike and I could forage wild food. I would still try my best to eat raw - hell, it would probably always be hella fresh food as I'd be eating everything I buy right away from farmer's markets or grocery store produce aisles.

If I really needed some money I'd go do some paperwork for someone or get a part-time job at an office - I like paperwork. If I could get it, I'd work at a tiny indie bookstore. If no one would hire me I'd tell em to fuck off and keep panhandling. I'd get a tent and sleep in the forest. In the winter I'd hit up my parents if necessary. If they said no, I'd ask pals, or stay with Tagen. I'd make them delicious raw treats and clean in exchange.

Without work I would read and write! I would spend all my time writing my graphic novel, and my regular novel! I would lie in the sun all day. I'd go to dog parks and run around with fun creatures! I'd gorge on blackberries and volunteer at the SPCA. I'd write hand-written letters and take photos with whatever crappy digital camera I could find on craigslist that fits in my pocket. I'd buy babydoll dresses at tiny thrift stores for $1 and stomp around in old Doc Martens. I'd grow out my hair to it's natural colour as long as possible (I'm doing that anyway), OR, I'd hack it into some bizarre Mad Max style so I didn't have to wash it every day.

If I ended up single, I'd fritter away my time on dates with random cuties who can buy me dinner. We'd make out and then I'd say bye and continue on to my next destination. I would delete all my online accounts except for my blogs. If I had a bike, I'd do my cross Canada trip. I'd do the opposite of my normal self and be a wandering vagabond. I'd keep a knife on me, and a ear-splitting rape whistle. I'd go to free classes and learn to fight.

~~


See, this was fun. And it sounds kinda rad. And not scary. It sounds liberating.